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" Oh yeah. More than I ever thought I could." Is that why you invited Toby and his cousin over?" That, and he told me he wished his cousin had been along because he was still a virgin. So I thought it might be fun to be his first." She said."Holy Shit." I exclaimed."Hey, you started this; it's too late to go back now. That bell can't be unrung." My wife replied."Oh no, it's not that. I'm just surprised at how fast your attitude about this has changed." I said."Hmmm, yes, I think maybe my inner slut has been woken up." So you said Toby's cousin is younger than him. But I got the impression he wasn't that old, so how old is his cousin?" I asked."I'm not sure. I know Toby is 18 because he told me." So his cousin is 17, or maybe even younger." Yes, isn't that a wicked thought." Susie mused."I think you're turned on by the thought of fucking a teenage boy." I accused her."Well, I like the idea of being his first, and of course boys that age have amazing stamina. But I also noticed that. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).Shout random numbers while someone is counting.At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem.Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as ‘Bob.’Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do number two”.After every sentence, say ‘mon’ in a really bad Jamacian accent. As in, “the report’s on your desk, mon.” Keep this up for one hour.While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, damm it, all of you just shut up!”At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce “As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”In a colleagues diary, write in 10am: “See how.
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